https://librairc.net/forums/ Wed, 29 Jul 2026 05:24:42 +0000 MyBB https://librairc.net/forums/thread-10525.html Mon, 28 Nov 2016 10:44:14 +0000 redi]]> https://librairc.net/forums/thread-10525.html  A lady with a  plummy accent   calls out " Excuse me  my man" he stops the mower and wanders over

Lady; " how much would you charge to mow my Lawn?"
 Golfer: " um. i am not sure...


... you see the lady who lives here lets me sleep with her"


squeal of tires as the Cadillac burns rubber leaving

]]>  A lady with a  plummy accent   calls out " Excuse me  my man" he stops the mower and wanders over

Lady; " how much would you charge to mow my Lawn?"
 Golfer: " um. i am not sure...


... you see the lady who lives here lets me sleep with her"


squeal of tires as the Cadillac burns rubber leaving

]]> https://librairc.net/forums/thread-920.html Sat, 28 Dec 2013 18:34:53 +0000 BAKKASH]]> https://librairc.net/forums/thread-920.html A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.


On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."


"What?" said the puzzled groom.


"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"


"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.


Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.


Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.


Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.


Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.


Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.


Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.


Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.


Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.


Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"


"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"


"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!" ^^]]> A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.


On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."


"What?" said the puzzled groom.


"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"


"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.


Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.


Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.


Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.


Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.


Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.


Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.


Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.


Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.


Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"


"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"


"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!" ^^]]> https://librairc.net/forums/thread-794.html Fri, 01 Mar 2013 19:18:29 +0000 tHeBrAiNLiGhT]]> https://librairc.net/forums/thread-794.html
Please solve this exercise, as a computer scientist:
How to solve the problem in a community with old arguements?
Answer: Strg/Ctrl + ALT + Entf/Del

xD]]>
Please solve this exercise, as a computer scientist:
How to solve the problem in a community with old arguements?
Answer: Strg/Ctrl + ALT + Entf/Del

xD]]> https://librairc.net/forums/thread-751.html Mon, 21 Jan 2013 13:16:05 +0000 BAKKASH]]> https://librairc.net/forums/thread-751.html A little boy asked for a 10-speed bicycle, for his birthday.

Father said, "Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $80,000 and your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it."

The next day the father saw his kid heading out the front door with a suitcase.

So he asked, "Son, where are you going?"

Little boy told him, "I was walking past your room last night and heard you telling mom you were pulling out...

Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too..

And I'll be damned if I'm staying here by myself with an $80,000 mortgage and NO BIKE!"
]]> A little boy asked for a 10-speed bicycle, for his birthday.

Father said, "Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $80,000 and your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it."

The next day the father saw his kid heading out the front door with a suitcase.

So he asked, "Son, where are you going?"

Little boy told him, "I was walking past your room last night and heard you telling mom you were pulling out...

Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too..

And I'll be damned if I'm staying here by myself with an $80,000 mortgage and NO BIKE!"
]]> https://librairc.net/forums/thread-746.html Sat, 19 Jan 2013 02:13:46 +0000 BAKKASH]]> https://librairc.net/forums/thread-746.html A biker wearing all his leathers, chain wallet and tall boots is sitting at the bar.
A cute girl walks in and sits next to him and says “Are you are real biker?”

He said “well, I build what I ride, I ride over 25,000 miles a year and am not afraid to wrench it when it needs it, I guess that makes me a real biker. Then Asks, “Would you like a ride?”

“I don't ride with guys, I am a lesbian.” She said

He said, “How do you know you are a lesbian”?

“When I wake up, I think about women, when I go to the park, I think about women, when I go to sleep I am thinking about women.” She said

After finishing her drink she left.
Soon after... A couple walks in and sits down next to him and asks “Are you a real biker?”

He said, “I used to think I was, but now I think I am a lesbian.”
]]> A biker wearing all his leathers, chain wallet and tall boots is sitting at the bar.
A cute girl walks in and sits next to him and says “Are you are real biker?”

He said “well, I build what I ride, I ride over 25,000 miles a year and am not afraid to wrench it when it needs it, I guess that makes me a real biker. Then Asks, “Would you like a ride?”

“I don't ride with guys, I am a lesbian.” She said

He said, “How do you know you are a lesbian”?

“When I wake up, I think about women, when I go to the park, I think about women, when I go to sleep I am thinking about women.” She said

After finishing her drink she left.
Soon after... A couple walks in and sits down next to him and asks “Are you a real biker?”

He said, “I used to think I was, but now I think I am a lesbian.”
]]> https://librairc.net/forums/thread-739.html Tue, 15 Jan 2013 22:33:54 +0000 BAKKASH]]> https://librairc.net/forums/thread-739.html
Grandpa is drinking a beer and the little boy asks if he can have a sip.

"Can your dick touch your asshole?" replies the grandpa.

He says no, so the grandpa says "Well, Then you aren't old enough yet to drink beer".

The little boy goes back to his grandparents house about a week later and is again sitting on the porch with grandpa, and again asks if he can have a sip of grandpa's beer.

"Can your dick touch your asshole yet?" He says it still cant, so Grandpa say "Sorry, but you're still not old enough yet"

The little boy goes inside where grandma gives him a plate of fresh cookies. He goes back outside and Grandpa asks him if he can have one.

"Can YOUR dick touch YOUR asshole, Grandpa?"

"Sure can" says Grandpa.

"Well good for you, Then go fuck yourself, Cuz these are my Cookies"
]]>
Grandpa is drinking a beer and the little boy asks if he can have a sip.

"Can your dick touch your asshole?" replies the grandpa.

He says no, so the grandpa says "Well, Then you aren't old enough yet to drink beer".

The little boy goes back to his grandparents house about a week later and is again sitting on the porch with grandpa, and again asks if he can have a sip of grandpa's beer.

"Can your dick touch your asshole yet?" He says it still cant, so Grandpa say "Sorry, but you're still not old enough yet"

The little boy goes inside where grandma gives him a plate of fresh cookies. He goes back outside and Grandpa asks him if he can have one.

"Can YOUR dick touch YOUR asshole, Grandpa?"

"Sure can" says Grandpa.

"Well good for you, Then go fuck yourself, Cuz these are my Cookies"
]]> https://librairc.net/forums/thread-735.html Mon, 14 Jan 2013 11:06:25 +0000 BAKKASH]]> https://librairc.net/forums/thread-735.html
The seventy-year-old said, "Have I got a problem. Every morning I get up at 7:30 and have to take a piss, but I have to stand at the toilet for an hour, 'cause my pee barely trickles out."

"Heck, that's nothing, " said the eighty year old. "Every morning at 8:30 I have to take a shit, but I have to sit on the can for hours because of my constipation. It's terrible".

The ninety-year-old said, "You guys think you have problems! Every morning at 7:30 I piss like a racehorse, and at 8:30 I shit like a pig.

*BAKKASH asks and says that "Indeed! I want someone to put all those three old men's goods on me at 7:30 AM so I could wake up at 8:30 AM already". xD
]]>
The seventy-year-old said, "Have I got a problem. Every morning I get up at 7:30 and have to take a piss, but I have to stand at the toilet for an hour, 'cause my pee barely trickles out."

"Heck, that's nothing, " said the eighty year old. "Every morning at 8:30 I have to take a shit, but I have to sit on the can for hours because of my constipation. It's terrible".

The ninety-year-old said, "You guys think you have problems! Every morning at 7:30 I piss like a racehorse, and at 8:30 I shit like a pig.

*BAKKASH asks and says that "Indeed! I want someone to put all those three old men's goods on me at 7:30 AM so I could wake up at 8:30 AM already". xD
]]> https://librairc.net/forums/thread-734.html Mon, 14 Jan 2013 01:22:57 +0000 BAKKASH]]> https://librairc.net/forums/thread-734.html A guy has a horny parrot. It's terrible. Every time he reached into the cage, the bird humps his arm.

He invites his mother to tea, the bird keeps saying foul things. Finally he takes the parrot to a vet.

The vet examines the bird extensively, says, "Well, you have a horny male parrot. I have a sweet young female bird, and for fifteen dollars your bird can go in the cage with mine."

The guy's parrot is listening and says, "Come on! Come on! What are you waiting for??"

Finally, the guy says all right and hands over the fifteen dollars.

The vet takes the parrot, puts him in the cage with the female bird, closes the curtain. Suddenly, "Kwah! Kwah! Kwah!" Feathers come flying out of the cage.

The vet says, "Holy gee," and runs across the room and opens the curtain.

The male bird has the female bird down on the bottom of the cage, pulling out all her feathers.

The vet screams, "what are you doing to my poor parrot?"

The male parrot replies, "for fifteen bucks, I want her naked!"]]> A guy has a horny parrot. It's terrible. Every time he reached into the cage, the bird humps his arm.

He invites his mother to tea, the bird keeps saying foul things. Finally he takes the parrot to a vet.

The vet examines the bird extensively, says, "Well, you have a horny male parrot. I have a sweet young female bird, and for fifteen dollars your bird can go in the cage with mine."

The guy's parrot is listening and says, "Come on! Come on! What are you waiting for??"

Finally, the guy says all right and hands over the fifteen dollars.

The vet takes the parrot, puts him in the cage with the female bird, closes the curtain. Suddenly, "Kwah! Kwah! Kwah!" Feathers come flying out of the cage.

The vet says, "Holy gee," and runs across the room and opens the curtain.

The male bird has the female bird down on the bottom of the cage, pulling out all her feathers.

The vet screams, "what are you doing to my poor parrot?"

The male parrot replies, "for fifteen bucks, I want her naked!"]]> https://librairc.net/forums/thread-703.html Sun, 16 Dec 2012 22:24:17 +0000 File]]> https://librairc.net/forums/thread-703.html There are people standing in the bus. One group is asking the group in front of them:"Will you go out from the bus at the next stop?" The group answer:"Yes we will" the other group is asking again:"Will the group in front of you go out?" The group answer:"Yes they will go out" the group behind them ask:"Have you asked them?" The other group answer:"Yes" the group behind them ask:"And what Did they answer?"

Greetings ]]> There are people standing in the bus. One group is asking the group in front of them:"Will you go out from the bus at the next stop?" The group answer:"Yes we will" the other group is asking again:"Will the group in front of you go out?" The group answer:"Yes they will go out" the group behind them ask:"Have you asked them?" The other group answer:"Yes" the group behind them ask:"And what Did they answer?"

Greetings ]]> https://librairc.net/forums/thread-543.html Fri, 13 Jul 2012 14:46:29 +0000 immortal]]> https://librairc.net/forums/thread-543.html http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RCE7tzaEiqg]]> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RCE7tzaEiqg]]> https://librairc.net/forums/thread-433.html Thu, 03 May 2012 19:24:13 +0000 CrazyChinese]]> https://librairc.net/forums/thread-433.html “I tried to be professional and detach myself from my emotions,”  said Anna Machowiak, 34, who practices her trade in Wroclaw, Poland,  according to the U.K.’s  Daily Mail. “But when I saw him lying there, I just thought, ‘What a bastard.’”
Machowiak then allegedly gave ex-boyfriend Marek Olszewski, 45, a large dose of anesthetic and yanked all  his teeth out. She wrapped his head in a bandage to keep him from speaking when he came to and told him there had been some complications.
“I knew something was wrong because when I woke up I couldn’t feel any teeth and my jaw was strapped up with bandages,” Olszewski told the Daily Mail. “She told me my mouth was numb, and I wouldn’t be able to feel anything for a while and that the bandage was there to protect the gums, but that I would need to see a specialist.”
“I didn’t have any reason to doubt her, I mean, I thought she was a professional,” he said. “But when I got home, I looked in the mirror and couldn’t f***king believe it. The b**ch had emptied my mouth.”
Mackowiak is under investigation for medical malpractice and abusing the trust of a patient. She could face up to three years in prison. And Olszewski’s new girlfriend has dumped him because he  no longer has any teeth.]]> “I tried to be professional and detach myself from my emotions,”  said Anna Machowiak, 34, who practices her trade in Wroclaw, Poland,  according to the U.K.’s  Daily Mail. “But when I saw him lying there, I just thought, ‘What a bastard.’”
Machowiak then allegedly gave ex-boyfriend Marek Olszewski, 45, a large dose of anesthetic and yanked all  his teeth out. She wrapped his head in a bandage to keep him from speaking when he came to and told him there had been some complications.
“I knew something was wrong because when I woke up I couldn’t feel any teeth and my jaw was strapped up with bandages,” Olszewski told the Daily Mail. “She told me my mouth was numb, and I wouldn’t be able to feel anything for a while and that the bandage was there to protect the gums, but that I would need to see a specialist.”
“I didn’t have any reason to doubt her, I mean, I thought she was a professional,” he said. “But when I got home, I looked in the mirror and couldn’t f***king believe it. The b**ch had emptied my mouth.”
Mackowiak is under investigation for medical malpractice and abusing the trust of a patient. She could face up to three years in prison. And Olszewski’s new girlfriend has dumped him because he  no longer has any teeth.]]> https://librairc.net/forums/thread-355.html Tue, 17 Apr 2012 11:33:05 +0000 CrazyChinese]]> https://librairc.net/forums/thread-355.html
how do you spell pig backward?

i thought it was hilarious!!! simple and funny!!]]>
how do you spell pig backward?

i thought it was hilarious!!! simple and funny!!]]>